


Youth

by Xero_Emerson



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Has Chronic Pain (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Other, The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22800793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xero_Emerson/pseuds/Xero_Emerson
Summary: Crowley goes through the stages of Grief for over 6 thousand years, finally able to reach Aziraphale's heart again, God gives him another chance.His changes affect Aziraphale in a way neither of them could have foreseen.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains depictions of severe wounds, please be cautious in reading!

Crowley was bored and supposed he could go visit Aziraphale before the night grew old. He stepped out of his house and with a flick of his wrist locked the door; heading down the street, he could smell the old cobblestone roads in the alleyways and feel the uneven pavement of the sidewalk beneath the soles of his shoes. He looked up at the dark sky, and hoped to see the stars though he knew it would be impossible inside the city. The sky smelt damp and of coming rain. The quiet hum of thunder in the distance gave way to his thoughts as he walked the oh-so-familiar route to the bookshop which was open at all hours of the day and night , everyday of the week.  
When he reached the front door, he stared at the glass for a moment, he looked horrible, per usual in his mind. Crowley shrugged it off and walked inside; he called out to his forbidden friend, “Aziraphale? Where are you?”  
“In the back, Crowley!”  
The sound of Aziraphale’s voice washed over Crowley and he instantly felt better. He headed into the back and draped over the back of the chair Aziraphale was sitting in. The angel’s head turned and looked up at Crowley, white curls bounced around as he shifted. That ethereal smile he typically wore upon his face.  
That damned, angelic smile, it always made Crowley soften a bit. He let a small curl of his own lips happen for a moment. As quickly as it happened, it was gone; memories from thousands of years ago flooded his mind and he had to force them away.  
“Crowley, would you like a cup of tea?” Aziraphale had stood from his chair and started the kettle across the room while Crowley was lost in thought.  
“Sure, I’d love a cup.” He had no idea how long he’d been standing there.


	2. Chapter 2

Aziraphale stood, unsure of what that demon was thinking about. He did that so often when they were alone together, suddenly spacing out like that.   
He made his way across the room and started the kettle, miracled tea just wasn’t as good.   
“Crowley, would you like a cup of tea?” The angel turned to look at the demon again.  
“Sure, I’d love a cup.” His red hair swished across the air as he phased out of his thoughts.   
The angel’s gentle blue eyes gazed sweetly at Crowley for a moment, hoping that whatever he had thought about was pleasant, though the look in Crowley’s own yellow, snake eyes said differently. He turned back to the task at hand and placed two cups on the small kettle table, and then a tea bag in each cup. Silence wracked over the bookshop as they waited on the kettle to boil. Eventually the high pitched whistle became hellishly loud and Azirphale poured the water into the cups.  
Crowley didn’t like sugar or milk in his tea, the angel knew that well after many years. He handed Crowley his cup and added a bit of sugar to his own before letting it cool off a bit. Crowley dipped his tea bag a couple of times into the hot water so it steeped faster before he took a sip, letting the profound heat fill his mouth and burn through his body. Aziraphale let his cool for several minutes before taking a small sip, his own a luke-warm by that time. The angel hummed at the sensation, loving the warmth as it seeped through him.   
He opened his eyes to see Crowley once again spaced out. It was slightly concerning how often he did that. Aziraphale often just left him when he spaced out like that, he learned the hard way how much it pained Crowley when he was pulled from his thoughts forcefully.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a flashback, still cannon to the fic!

Many years ago, possibly after the American Revolution, Crowley had been sitting in his small house. Aziraphale was over to talk to Crowley about a book he had found and Crowley spaced out staring through the window. Aziraphale was slightly upset that Crowley wasn’t paying attention, he was usually very attentive when Aziraphale was enthusiastic.   
Not knowing what to do since the Demon had been spaced out for a good half hour, he tapped Crowley on the shoulder, he stayed as he was. Aziraphale tried again, nothing. The third attempt he shook Crowley, starting to become worried for his friend. A slight mumble left Crowley at the shake, but his glazed yellow eyes stayed fixed through the window as the slightest hint of raw emotion peeked through. Aziraphale became more concerned and shook Crowley slightly harder, saying his name aloud,  
“Crowley!” He was so unsure of what to do, lately, the demon had been spacing out so much, sometimes days would go by where he was basically unresponsive.   
The demon screeched as he was pulled from his thoughts finally, his body shook for a moment, acidic tears streamed down his face after a second. He looked up to see Aziraphale’s scared, wide eyes at his sudden outburst. He stood rapidly from that wooden rocking chair, knocking it into motion, “Out!” He couldn’t let Aziraphale see him like this.   
“Get out, Aziraphale! Leave! Don’t come back!” He burst out in a loud voice which seemed to make the Earth freeze after flinching.  
Aziraphale stared at the demon, terrified of how his friend looked and acted; he’d never seen such pain in Crowley’s eyes before. The demon continued to yell, screeching for Aziraphale to leave, pleading in that angry, shaking voice.  
“Crowley, let me help! I can help you! What’s wrong?!” He was so worried for his dearest friend, he reached out Crowley, hoping to not be rejected.  
The demon flinched away, his wings now casted shadows on the walls as the slowly summoned themselves, “I said out, Aziraphale! Get the fuck out!”   
Aziraphale hurried to the door, his own tears started to fall, he wanted to help so bad, but knew his place. Crowley was a demon, demon’s were nothing but pure sins. They couldn’t harbor pain like other beings could, and if they did, it was deeply rooted and near impossible for them to heal it, ever. The angel ran out the door. He pulled his horse from the small stable.   
Crowley and himself had built a few years ago. He climbed onto the horse and rode away. He heard the crackling of flames and the sudden burst of wood as the house exploded, he turned just in time to see Crowley disappear in the flames, he felt the heat from miles away. He stopped only once he reached his small book store. He tied up his horse and headed inside. His cheeks sticky from the pain he felt. Was this what Crowley had been feeling?  
Aziraphale tried to reach out to the demon, but the only thing he found was a heart ripped into millions of pieces. His own heart ached as he knew nothing could be done for his friend, he had to wait, and eventually, Crowley would return.


	4. Chapter 4

Crowley came too again, looking around to see that Aziraphale had moved once more. The angel’s tea was sat on his desk and the white curls only peeked from behind a wall as he searched for a book. The demon walked over and leaned over his shoulder,  
“What are you looking for?” He asked,  
“Shakespeare's works. I need to check a quote for someone, I’m checking their book before they send it to a publisher.” Aziraphale’s voice was slightly startled at first, but evened out quickly. He hadn’t even bothered to glance over at how close Crowley was considering he could feel the demon’s warmth wash over him, it was so comfortable; it made him want to sink deeper into Crowley and just stay there for the rest of eternity.  
“Top shelf, dingus.” Crowley reached up and pulled down the book for Aziraphale.  
The angel smiled and grabbed the book from Crowley, “Thank you, pleasant demon.” He smiled, unphased by the demon’s empty insult.


	5. Chapter 5

Crowley rolled his eyes and sipped on his now cold tea, _damn, how long was he thinking for this time?_ He heated the liquid back up easily before taking another sip, burning his throat again. He followed Aziraphale back to the desk and watched as he searched for the quote in need. Why did the angel have to be so fucking cute? The way his curls bounced as he shifted in though, his soft round cheeks turning rosy anytime something suggestive came up, his blue eyes and their icey colour was so gentle all the time. Crowley longed to have all of it to himself again. After a few moments, he realized he was getting lost in thoughts and shook them away before he completely spaced out again.


	6. Chapter 6

Eventually, Aziraphale stopped working, and Crowley was starting to doze off in an armchair not far from the desk, nestled comfortably in a corner. Aziraphale walked over, ad after thousands of years, finally just didn’t care anymore, 

“Crowley. Don’t sleep in the chair, come to bed.” Aziraphale offered his hand to the demon, who’s eyes had just shot open.

“Now Aziraphale, that just isn’t very good. They might be leaving us alone since the near-end-of-the-world thing, but I don’t know if that is safe.” Crowley tried to put reason into his mind but the angel only rolled his eyes and grabbed the demon anyways, pulling him up and towards the bedroom,

“Surely you’d rather have a bed than some musty old armchair. I have some spare blankets, so if you're that worried, we can use separate blankets, alright?” Aziraphale started to pull some more blankets from his closet. His bedroom was above the shop, so it never really had to close, he slept lightly and would know if anyone came in. He set the apare blankets on the side closest to the window for Crowley, knowing even if the demon was tired, he’d like the view if he woke up. 

“Aziraphale, I don’t know. It ...” He decided to think for a moment, it’d be bad if he woke from a night terror with Aziraphale next to him, he’d have to explain, that’d be horrid and Aziraphale wouldn’t believe him. “Aziraphale, it just isn’t a good idea, I sleep downstairs like I always do, it’s fine, I promise.” He tried to give the angel a reassuring smile as he turned to go back downstairs, until his sleeve was gripped tightly.

“I know you don’t sleep well, Crowley. Just, stay up here, I don’t mind, really.” It seemed the angel wouldn’t let it go no matter how hard Crowley tried to get out of it.


	7. Chapter 7

After a bit of just lying next to each other awkwardly, Crowley finally felt his body slipping into sleep. He rolled over to face Aziraphale, who was reading a book, and though they were under different blankets, he could feel the warmth coming from the radiant being. He let his eye-lids droop until the darkness welcomed him. 

**_The warmth eventually ebbed away and he felt that cold, steel, hilt of a frozen sword in his hands, but the warmth of that gold splatter against his face, his own yellow eyes blazing against the dark red sky. Aziraphale’s body had begun to go limp on the stone beneath the two powerful beings, his soft blue eyes losing their brightness that Crowley so dearly loved. He couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the angel so weak beneath his heel; golden, viscous liquid dripping from his throat as the cold steel pushed farther, going through and hitting the stone beneath it. The cackle from the demon bringing thunder to the skies, rain of acid falling from his face. This was his punishment. Never could he love. Never could he have another one to care for. He must rid himself of all things good, for he is the purest of sins._ **


	8. Chapter 8

After a while, Aziraphale noticed the demon’s unneeded breathing cease, he must’ve fallen asleep. He set down his book, reaching a hand over to stroke the red hair atop the pale face next to him. He quickly withdrew as a deep whine sound came from the demon’s throat. After a while, it happened again and he shifted uncomfortably, turning away from Aziraphale. The angel was starting to worry about his companion. It was when Crowley’s eyes burst open with a silent scream the Aziraphale jumped, a hand over his chest as if he had a slight heart attack. He reached the same hand out to rest it on Crowley’s shoulder,

“Crowley?” the angel voice was soft, but something about it seemed uneasy.

“Don’t.” Crowley shrugged off the hand and sat up, “It’s nothing. I’m going out for drinks.” Without another word and the snap of his fingers, he had on his day clothes and his leather jacket from several years ago. He stood and left without giving Aziraphale a chance to follow. He vanished into the air.


End file.
